Five years and many purchases into this marriage, there have been disgruntled murmurings from The Bearded One along the lines of having "thought I'd married Barbara, and you turn out to be Margot." I can see where he's coming from - I did have a slightly earthier thing going on when we met ten years ago but you can blame that on the pittance of a waitressing wage I was flouncing around smilingly for. These days I prefer my maxis along Halston Heritage lines, not Hennaed Hippie, and the more deeply entrenched in motherhood I am, the less 'earth mother' I want to look.
"I thought you were into nature and stuff," complains The Bearded One, visibly blanching at the £635 price tag of the Michael Kors heels I'm hankering after as a 5th wedding anniversary present (traditional gift: wood - which, I might point out, is not only from nature but also present in the heel of said shoes)
I am, though, I am. Haven't I just treated myself to this exquisite Emilie Hagen seahorse necklace? And wasn't it cast from a real seahorse?