Thursday, 7 October 2010

A(fluffy)head of the pack

Fashion forward, moi?

Check out the Persian cat on the head of Stella Maxwell, on the right of Elle Italia's September issue

And then cast your mind back to my alpaca hat post

Master C, you are miles ahead of the game.

I actually don't think he gets it from me, despite the fact that I can lay some claim to having had my finger on the fluffball pulse as far back as 2001/ 2002. Indeed, I am so far behind the game that this particular issue of Elle was my holiday reading and, due to my disitinctly below-par Italian (and the demands that The Princess, Master C and The Bub put on my time) I am still plowing my way through it. We'll be in to SS11 before I've managed to get it into my head that "un vestito morbido" does not mean a sack-like dress for a morbidly obese woman (it's the word association thing, it's a killer).

Our Italian sojourn unearthed another fashion truth, namely that this H&M striped maxi was possibly my worst buy for SS10.

Don't get me wrong: I heart it big time. But let us chart its tale of woe:

I buy it for under a tenner. I am accompanied by Master C and The Bub; trying on is not an option. It looks insanely long - but I'm tall. It'll be fine. I get it home. I try it on - oh my god, it is insanely long, puddling around my feet in a molten pool of purple and white. I get it taken up. It costs as much as the dress. It's still too long. I get it taken up again. The alterations have now cost double the price of the dress, but the length is perfect. Unfortunately, however, the dress is completely see-through; that soft fine cotton I so admired in H&M feels lovely, but the sensation that people can see what I had for breakfast, rather less so. No matter! It will be fine over a cossie. I take the dress on holiday and debut it by the pool. The Bearded One tells me that I look like The Cat in the Hat. The Princess wipes gelato-stickied fingers on me. I wash the dress.

It shrinks to mid-calf length.

But hey. I've been ahead of the game before; maybe I will be again. Hot tip for SS11 - see through, shrunken and mid-calf will be key. You heard it right here from the Cat in the Hat.

So - 'fess up: what were your worst buys this year?


  1. Definitely my white company navy blue bandeau maxi... it is gorgeous but I am unconvinced about the practicalities. It was either too hot to wear (heavy jersey) or too cold (strapless). never quite recovered from dh calling it the witch dress. may try it in Sydney in Dec or pass it on to the wise and avid team....

    (roary here btw)

  2. My Gap chinos - very 'me' but I bought them so early in the year that they were too big for me by the time I got to wear them. And I couldn't bring myself to buy more when I hadn't really worn the ones I had. Sigh...

  3. Possibly the Jigsaw linen breton dress. As warned by fellow w&a's, completely seethrough.

    Lovely and cool though.

    It means having to wear a Spanx half slip in the heat of summer, so really the above comment not so relevant.

    Husband finds it very sexy though. It's a keeper!

  4. I would probably say anything from Topshop - am I finally getting old?

  5. I bought a selection of those elastic headbandy things with big floral appliqué blooms thinking if it's good enough for Pixie Lott... Never worn them, just look like a someone old trying to be young or someone idiotic trying to mimic a lovingly wrapped birthday gift. If anyone can tell me how to rock one without attracting sniggers, do tell...

  6. I thought I had escaped SS10 relatively unscathed. Then I remembered the May 20101 pale denim jacket. My brain said 'bright young Shoreditch thing', the mirror sadi, 'Go, Grease Lightning!'